A number one dad, ten out of ten, Dad of the year, gettin laid all year this year, best dad ever, you did it.
is it me or did the dad lose 200 pounds in 5 seconds
and my U.S. History teacher was trying to get us to understand why it was such a big deal that England had put a tax on colonial sugar, and he goes,
"what if you had to pay a tax every time you logged onto wifi?"
and the whole class just went
and I heard at least two people whisper “I would murder someone”
the perfect comparison
More poetry and prose by Lang Leav here
Whenever I speak with you, I end up dying more, a little more
I like that library books have secret lives. All those hands that have held them. All those eyes that have read them.
—Netflix would be by far the best dating site. “Here are 9 other singles in your area who have also watched Breaking Bad for 12 straight hours”
What Love means to a 4-8 year old: A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, ’What does love mean?’ The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined
See what you think:
‘When my grandmother got arthritis , she couldn’t bend over and paint her toenails anymore.. So my grandfather does it for her all the time , even when his hands got arthritis too. That’s love.’ – Rebecca, age 8
‘When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different.You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.’ – Billy, age 4
‘Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.’ – Karl, age 5
‘Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.’ –Chrissy, age 6
‘Love is what makes you smile when you’re tired.’ -Terri, age 4
‘Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him , to make sure the taste is OK.’ – Danny, age 7
‘Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing , you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that.
They look gross when they kiss’ – Emily, age 8
‘Love is what’s in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents
and listen.’ –Bobby, age 7
‘If you want to learn to love better , you should start with a friend who you hate” –Nikka, age 6
‘Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt , then he wears it everyday..’ –Noelle, age 7
‘Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.’ –Tommy, age 6
‘During my piano recital , I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn’t scared anymore.’ – Cindy, age 8
‘My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don’t see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.’ –Clare, age 6
‘Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.’ –Elaine, age 5
‘Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.’ –Chris, age 7
‘Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.’ -Mary Ann, age 4
‘I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.’ –Lauren, age 4
‘When you love somebody , your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.’ - Karen, age 7
‘Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn’t think it’s gross..’ –Mark, age 6
‘You really shouldn’t say ‘I love you’ unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.’ –Jessica, age 8
The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman’s yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, ‘Nothing , I just helped him cry’.
Discipline is just choosing between what you want now and what you want most.
nothing feels better than winning monopoly. not love. not sex. not free pizza. nothing
I’m sorry, have you tried pizza…?
yes and it doesn’t compare to owning half the board and watching the light die from your friends eyes as you take their money and feel your friendship slowly deteriorate
i like you
to everyone with finals and exams and big projects due very very soon and haven’t started anything yet
Homemade Cookie Dough Oreos | Something Swanky
I’m lonely :( looking for a tumblr gf ♡ any takers?
I get is a reminder
that I have grown
into a skin you
Battle not with monsters, lest ye become a monster, and if you gaze into the abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.
Page 1 of 476